


the more we love, the more we have to lose

by RavenWhitecastle



Series: The Sinner and the Saint [26]
Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post Samaritan, Protective John Reese, Short, Undercover, Undercover as a Couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 09:41:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17342990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenWhitecastle/pseuds/RavenWhitecastle
Summary: Samaritan has torn Team Machine asunder. To stay alive, they must go undercover and live normal lives. The Machine has placed Harold and John together as Harold Whistler and his partner Detective Riley. But John has his doubts about the Machine's decision.





	the more we love, the more we have to lose

**Author's Note:**

> (Title is from “A Conjuring of Light” by V.E. Schwab. Call back to “Marked.”)

They’d all been blown to different corners of New York. Sameen had been mercilessly thrust into the world of retail. Root had an endless rotation of identities to serve the Machine’s purposes. And Harold and John hid in plain sight, as Professor Whistler and his boyfriend, Detective Riley.

“I’ll admit, I did think we would be ‘going public’ under different circumstances,” Harold commented, carrying a box of their shared belongings into their new home, a small house near his school campus. He chuckled as he limped over the threshold. “But there’s no time like the present.”

John was looking around pensively at the kitchen-dining room combination and the plush living room with a loveseat in front of the TV. He’d thought about getting a house like this one, before he’d been recruited by the CIA. Strange that this felt like a candy-colored set with three walls and a hole for the audience. His gut twisted. He’d only just started imagining a home again, one with Harold in it.

Harold came up behind him and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “I know we’re farther from the precinct than you would like,” he offered, “but it’s doable. So just… hang in there. This is only temporary.” He patted John on the back before limping past him into the kitchen.

In the few days they’d spent out of the city, supposedly on a weekend getaway as they dodged Samaritan’s operatives, Harold had adjusted to his cover identity, even saying he was looking forward to shaping young minds. But John, whose optimism had guided them out of harm’s way until they could get settled, had grown increasingly morose, even more on edge than normal.

“Temporary,” John echoed, watching Harold shuffling around, taking inventory of the cupboards. He sank onto a stool next to the island counter, and thought back to a time before Samaritan even existed. If he was being honest with himself, he’d always assumed that this thing between them was temporary. Whether it was the job or the law or simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time, John knew in the back of his mind that they wouldn’t be together forever. 

Harold was muttering something about “basic staples” and “primitive” when John cleared his throat. Harold paused and looked towards John. “Yes?”

John leaned on the counter with his arms crossed. “I was thinking-”  _ Damn _ . His voice was hoarse. He coughed and tried again. “I know that nowhere is really safe, now that Samaritan is in play. But I think that this… us… might be too dangerous.”

Harold crossed the kitchen and rested a hand on the opposite side of the counter. “What do you mean?”

“I mean are you sure we should… stay together now that we’re completely different people?”

“You do realize that I’m not actually a professor and you’re not actually a cop, right?” Harold teased, “They’re called covers for a reason.”

“But even with the cover identities, it’s a huge risk. If anyone figures out who we are, they’ll have an opening- a weakness they can exploit.”

“If anyone figures out who we are, we’ll be doomed regardless of our relationship status,” Harold replied, eyebrow quirked.

John sighed. “But it’s more than that. They can use it to manipulate us. They can use you against me, and me against you. As leverage.”

The silence hung heavy between them as Harold processed what John had said. He knew in his heart it was true- they were each other’s Achilles’ heel.

John spoke again. “I think… maybe I should stay somewhere else. We can incorporate it into our covers. Make it look like we’re breaking up or something. Modify our stories.” He swallowed. “Take some time apart and… assess our future together.”

Harold shook his head. “No, that’s ludicrous.”

John held up his hands. “It’s the safest option. Samaritan is watching us- we just have to present it with a different lie.”

Lips pursed, Harold hobbled around the counter to sit next to John. He settled on his stool before taking John’s face in his hands and making intense eye contact. “I know it looks bad. I know every instinct is telling you to run. And I know why.” John closed his eyes. Harold knew him better than he knew himself. “But don’t put your life on hold just because life is dangerous. The world doesn’t stop turning because the bad guys got a win. And I will not stop loving you because you think it’s too dangerous.”

John was surprised at how vehement Harold was. “Love you too,” he muttered.

Harold ran his thumbs across John’s cheekbones. “I don’t care what happens. I am NOT letting some stupid machine take you away from me. You’re stuck with me, remember?”

John smiled and placed one hand over Harold’s on his cheek. “There’s at least one stupid machine that thinks we should stick it out.”

Harold patted John’s other cheek fondly. “Exactly. Now come help me in the master bedroom. We’re official now, you know. We have to keep up appearances.” He winked at John, and John smiled back.

They could make this work. 


End file.
